Day 36

I say what I mean but I never mean what I say,

am I alive or am I just awake?

You will never know who I really am inside,

you only see what I can't hide.

And if you even see that much,

then stop right there, 

that's close enough.

Again, no pictures.

Just a little insight.

There is little worse than having your flaws exposed.

There is little more necessary than having your flaws exposed.

I am entirely too guarded.

I reject affection and positive affirmation more than anyone I've ever met.

I will hurt you before you have a chance to hurt me.

I will not forgive you in a timely fashion, as if it somehow justifies the wrong doing.

I am a lousy communicator when it comes to being truly honest.

I am a great pretender; I don't trust easily.

I can be wise, and I can give good advice,

but I will easily reject what is good or lovely because I feel so undeserving.

My self esteem is pitiful, as, in some way or other, is the downfall to most of my relationships.

My friends are troopers, they are dealing with a really broken soul.

Someday I hope to show the love they have shown me.

Pretty raw.

I don't feel comfortable at all talking about this.